It all began with a drive out to the middle of nowhere to drop Ian off at the only squash court left to him to use.
You know this would never have happened if the Tor Na Coille still had it's squash courts open for business but that's a different story.
To be honest I didn't like the idea from its conception.
1. It was Ian's car we were in and it makes me nervous.
2. The whole area is still thick with snow.
Anyway, we duly arrived at the squash court which was beside the owners house at the top of his drive.
Ian got out and I got into the driver's seat, heart thumping...I had been aghast at the condition of the roads after we had left Torphins.
My instructions were go back down to the main road and turn left.
I drove really slowly down to the foot of the drive and when I got to the stone posts at the bottom, turned left.
"This is terrible," I fizzed at Ian even though he wasn't there, as I '5 point turned' in the snow at the junction to turn left.
The road to Torphins seemed a lot longer than I remembered too, but I couldn't think too much about that as to stop myself from freaking out because of the road conditions, I had placed bands of iron around my emotional circuits!
Eventually, after what seemed like an interminable journey at snail's pace, I saw the lights of cars driving along on a road just ahead, but my road was getting perilously steep and was beginning to veer to the left.
The car faltered, slued to the side and stuck!
"Keep calm, no need to panic!"
I put on the hazard lights and reversed the car back down the hill.
Try again.
By take 5, I knew the game was up.
Time to weep and wail. I got my mobile phone out and dialled Ian's number.
"Hello, this is Ian Stewart...." aagh.
I got out the car and went to see what was in the boot. A shovel, perhaps?
No, there was a golf club.
Wonderful. Just what you need to dig yourself out of the snow.
What could I do? I started to dig the snow away from the tyres with the club.
(I think Ian is a wee bit upset, he told me later he was going to sell the club.)
However, at this point headlights appeared behind me.
This very nice young man got out of his car and trudged up to see what was happening.
He suggested he sat on the front of the car above the wheel to add weight while I tried again to move forward, but it didn't work.
It was at this point that another set of lights appeared and with them, a slightly older man. His car was pulling a trailer! Obviously an old hand at snow wheeling.
Having been advised of the situation, he suggested he try to move my car up to the main road.
No joy, he tried several times - still no joy.
We were all stuck.
"Right," said the older man to the younger man and me, "There's a small road off to the side at the bottom of this hill. If we all reverse, you," and he looked at me, "could reverse into it, and that way the road would be clear for us to go on," he looked at the younger man.
He volunteered to move Ian's car back... and I had more confidence in his ability than mine so I agreed.
It was at this point, as he got into Ian's car, I happened to ask him if we were on the road to Banchory.
"No," he said. "This is the road to Alford. You should be going in the opposite direction!"
"She's going to Banchory," he shouted down to the young guy and there was an obvious humerous moment at my expense.
But I didn't care. I was saved. Hurrah. Thank you God! I should be going the other way.
Everybody moved and then the two chaps helped me get Ian's car out of the side road as the snow was really deep.
With elation, I thanked them both profusely and took off back the way I had come.
It took a long time to get home partly because I was stiff with anxiety, but also because I couldn't get Ian's lights onto full beam and had to drive holding the flasher on.
That and the fact that I made one other wrong turn.
But I managed to rectify that mistake by myself.
Torphins never looked so good.
For those of you who aren't too familiar with the area, Torphins is somewhere on the road between Banchory and Alford.
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